To Be Forever
by PennyMorr
Summary: a different take on how Bella came to forks. One-shot. Rated T. No Edward. OC/AH


Ah, summertime. I loved summer. I loved the hot sunny days, the bright sun, the beaches, the flip-flops and shorts. I loved everything about summer. This was everything summer should be. So why was I huddled up under my covers in bed at the end of August? My room temperature felt as if it were -20 below compared to the heat I'd come to love—and miss. I assumed the never ending rain had something to do with this ridiculous summertime temperature. Being so, I found reason number one hundred and fifty three why I detested Forks, Washington: it was cold, in the summer. I missed my painfully bright hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. I missed the smothering heat and dry air. Nothing in Forks was ever dry. And I'd give anything to see the sun again since I'd been at least two weeks before its weak sunshine had filtered through the thick clouds.

A shudder rippled through me and I pulled my covers tightly to my chin. Why did it have to be so cold? Better yet, why couldn't I get used to the freezing temperatures? Seriously, I'd been living with my father, police chief Charlie Swan, since June and I was still sensitive to the coldness, even though Charlie kept stating this was probably one of the warmest summers Forks had seen in a while. Yeah right, Phoenix's low night temperatures were greater than the highs during the day here. Everything was cold to me. I wouldn't have to be suffering so much if I hadn't moved here. It was my choice, and I sometimes wonder why I condemned myself in the first place, but then I remember my mother's loving smile directed at her new husband Phil and her want to travel with him…..and I'm glad I came to live with Charlie. So, as of now, they were currently touring Jacksonville, Florida.

My teeth started clacking together and I tried my best to clamp my mouth closed, but the choppy, bouncing movement made that impossible. Summer wasn't supposed to be this cold and rainy, no matter where a person lived! Where was my heat? My sun?

"Bella?" I heard Charlie call softly up the stairs, since it was only eight in the morning. Great. He was probably just asking me to come down so he could lecture me about finding friends. What did he want me to do, go door to door? He should be at work by now anyways, he always left at seven-thirty.

"I'm up!" I replied, trying to quiet my chattering teeth.

"Can you come down, Bells?" he asked again, calling more loudly. I huffed and threw my bed sheets off of me, immediately missing the warmth of the quilt. Before going downstairs, I threw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt and took the ponytail out of my hair so that my locks would cover my neck. Then I left my room—managing to stub my pinky toe painfully on the door jamb, my clumsiness had not faded through my embarrassing childhood years—and walked slowly down the stairs, dragging my feet.

Charlie smiled at me when I appeared in the kitchen. He brought his mug of coffee to his lips and took a sip before speaking.

"Hey, Bells, can I talk to you quick?" he asked, taking a seat at the small table.

"Um, shouldn't you be at work now, Dad?" I countered, sitting across from him. Even though I tried to avoid it, I knew that this would be unavoidable. Once Charlie had his mind made up about something, he followed through with it and didn't go back on his decisions. I got that trait from him.

"I just need to say a few things to you, then I'll be heading out to the station," Charlie replied, setting his coffee on the table in front of him. He waited for me to say something for a few moments. When I didn't open my mouth, he cleared his throat and averted his eyes from mine. Shoot. I should've pretended like I was still sleeping! Charlie was preparing a short speech, I could tell that much. He reluctantly looked back at me and began and I cringed on the inside. "It's been a month now, Bella," he started, clearly as uncomfortable as I was. He hated speeches as much as I did—if not more. "Now, I know that you haven't had a chance to meet any new people, but I'm getting tired of seeing you mope around the house with nothing to do. It's making me wonder if you coming to live with me was a good idea for you." He peeked up and me and watched as a few emotions flickered across my face. I couldn't move away from Charlie and back to Renee! For one thing, Phil wasn't number one on my favorite people list and Charlie needed me too much! He couldn't make me leave…..I wouldn't!

"I don't want to go," I spoke up, crossing my arms across my chest to retain some warmth I could feel escaping from my sweatshirt.

"Well, now," he said, "I don't want you to go either. That's not what I was getting at, Bella." Whew. Thank goodness. As much as I despised Forks, I knew leaving would be the wrong thing for me to do. I'd already made up my mind to finish my junior and senior years of high school here then go to a college where it was hot and dry. "But…" Oh no. But's were never good. "But I want you to try to make some friends before school starts on Monday, since you'll probably feel more comfortable if you had a familiar face to talk to." Now how am I going to do that?

"How am I supposed to—." I started. Charlie cut me off.

"When you go grocery shopping today, I want you to talk to some of the kids there. Get to know some of them. There's some pretty nice teenagers in town your age, Bells, and I think it would do you good to meet a few of them. Promise me you will try?" He seemed to relax. That must've been everything he'd been preparing to say. Even though it was over, I groaned inwardly. Socializing was not one of my stronger points. I preferred to be alone, less talking and such.

"Dad," I protested—somehow it sounded like whining—"you know that I'm not the talkative type—." Charlie cut me off again.

"I know, Bells, trust me I know. But please, give your old man some peace of mind by finding a friend?"

I racked my brain for excuses to say no, but I was not feeling very creative today. I felt a strange sort of nausea roll in my stomach at the thought of agreeing, but what other choice did I have? If I said no, Charlie wouldn't be very happy with me, and because I was just about to turn 17, he still had authority over me. I wished fervently that it was a year later and I was turning 18. I sucked in a big breath, groaned, and laid my forehead on the table. "I'll try," I mumbled.

"That's my girl." I visualized Charlie cracking one of his crinkly-eyed grins as he got up from the table. I heard the remainder of his coffee being poured down the sink and he clomped noisily over to front door and threw his police jacket on.

"Have a good day, Dad," I called out, my voice muffled by the table. Somehow, it still sounded like I was complaining.

"You too, honey," he replied. I heard the door shut and waited till the cruiser pulled out of the driveway before I dashed over to the thermostat and turned the temperature up to seventy-five. When I'd first arrived in Forks, Charlie had told me I could turn it up whenever I wanted since he knew I was accustomed to the heat. I felt guilty for racking up his heating bill in the middle of summer, but as far as I knew, Charlie didn't have a problem with it. He was still just so happy I'd willingly come to live with him. When I heard the heater kicking in, I traveled back upstairs to my room to check my email. I hadn't actually checked it since I'd been to Forks, and I knew that my mom had probably sent a letter.

_Bella,_

**_I miss you so much sweetie! Phil misses you too….well, especially your cooking. How's Forks, anyway, Bella? Did you make any friends? How's Charlie doing? Do you hate it there yet? I honestly don't know how you can do this to yourself, sweetheart. Phil is willing to make a relationship between you two work if you do come back. I know you've gotten off on the wrong foot, but he's a sweet guy, he really is. Anyways, Phil's game is starting soon, so I'll talk to you later, baby. Tell Charlie I said hi._**

**_Love you,_**

**_Mom_**

I heaved a frustrated sigh and shut my eyes tight to block out a spasm of pain. Right. The only thing Phil misses about me is my cooking; I was positive about that. He and I really didn't get along, another reason why I decided that living with Charlie wasn't a bad idea. We always got into arguments. This was easier for both of us. I hit the reply button and began typing, knowing somewhere in the back of my protected mind that she would never read this.

_**Mom,** _I wrote.

_**I miss you too. Maybe I can come visit you during spring break? Yeah. I'm sure that would be no problem for Charlie.**_

**_Forks is doing okay, I guess. It's really cold and rainy here, even now as I speak. I haven't seen the sun in a little over two weeks which is making me nervous. If that's how much it shows in the summer, then where will my sun be in the winter?_**

**_No friends yet. I haven't had a chance. But Charlie wants me to talk to some kids my age today when I go grocery shopping. I can't imagine high school kids would be at the store, but some may have summer jobs. Anyways, I'm going to try, for Charlie's sake._**

**_I don't hate Forks, Mom. I grimaced as I wrote this. It's actually kind of nice here. You won't need to come and get me. Everything here is great. I really do love living with Charlie—besides he needs me. I don't know how he survived with his cooking before I moved in and he's really lonely. I'm glad that I moved here._**

**_I love you, Mom. Tell Phil I said hi._**

**_Love,_**

**_Bella_**

As if. Don't tell Phil I said hi. See if I care. Reluctant to read the other four letters, I hit the send button and brought up my loaded search engine. I typed Forks High School in the blank space. I figured that as long as I was going to be going to a new school on Monday, I'd better learn about it. I groaned at the thought, already missing my sunless summer. I didn't want to go back to school, especially not in Forks. I wanted my old friends back, not some new ones who looked at me like I was some alien from Mars. I'd been here only about three months and I already felt trapped under the weightless clouds.

The page took forever to load. I assumed it was because of my connection, but I still impatiently drummed my cold fingers on my desk. When the results finally popped up, I had to scroll through three pages before I found my new high school's website. I double clicked on the link, but then I suddenly wondered why I was even doing this. I knew how small the school was, how many students there were, and so on. I knew where to pick up my class schedule. So why was I wasting my time now? If I absolutely needed any more information, I had the next three days.

I dragged the cursor to the top of the page and clicked the window closed completely. Before shutting off my laptop, I checked the last four emails and found that they were just silly forwards from Renee. Without reading them, I clicked the email program closed and turned off the computer.

So now what was I supposed to do? I leaned my back against my folding chair and sighed as I contemplated ways to spend my time today. I knew it was way too early for shopping (I was not a morning person), and I had nothing else to keep myself busy. I supposed I could clean the house…..again. What, that had to be the millionth time I'd considered that in the last week. The house was immaculate, not one dust particle dirtied the TV, there couldn't be any hair in the carpet, the dishes were all washed and put away. Except that mug…..no, Bella. You need to do something else.

Argh! Why'd my life have to be so completely and utterly boring?

I got up from my chair and walked over to my bed, collapsing on it face down. I struggled to do so, but managed to pull my wonderful quilt up and over me to shield me from the chill that hung in the air. I thought of other things to do on my last school-free Friday of the year.

I could call my friend Rachel from Phoenix, in the very least, to apologize. But I don't think, even after three months apart, that she would accept my apology. When I'd thought she was dating my crush in Phoenix, Jacob Black, Rachel got all mad and told me that he was her brother. Only, she got mad after I gave her an earful of me. I felt awful about it afterwards, but I couldn't take anything back. No. Calling Rachel would be a risky thing to do, and she probably wouldn't talk to me anyways. I would avoid that conversation.

Laundry then? It'd been a while since I'd done a load and I knew Charlie would be missing some clean socks and underwear very soon. But I was sick of doing chores. Grrrr. There was absolutely nothing to do around the house.

Suddenly, like the strike of a lightning bolt, an idea hit me. It was the obvious thing to do, and I couldn't believe I hadn't done it before. They had a bookstore in Forks, right? Oh I hoped so! When I'd moved here, I'd counted on being able to purchase new copies of Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights, seeing as how both of mine were falling apart at the binding and had one or two pages missing. Yes! Besides, I needed books for reading material in case days like these should ever come along! I could go get a few books, then head to the grocery store immediately after, so I don't have to make two trips.

My plan set, I threw back my sheets and dug jeans, a T-shirt, and a Phoenix sweatshirt out of my closest, rushing to the only bathroom in the house to take a shower. The hot water calmed me and unknotted the tense muscles in my shoulders from stressing over the nothingness that was my life. I massaged my strawberry shampoo gently into my scalp and breathed in the strawberry scented water vapor. I was feeling pretty good, better than I thought I would have, that day. Until I pulled the curtains back. The icy bathroom air hit me like I'd just collided with a running person. It swirled around me uncomfortably, making my muscles contract and leaving me more unbalanced than was healthy.

I stepped out of the tub and slipped on the tile floor, but managed to catch myself on the side of it before hitting the ground. No matter what, I was going to end up with bruises on my knees—typical for me. I unsteadily got up and reached my fingers out to clumsily grasp my blue towel, hanging next to the shower. Desperate to retain heat, I wrapped it around my body quickly, hugging it to me. Slowly, I got myself ready, first blow-drying my cold, wet hair, then throwing on my clothing. It was somewhere around ten o 'clock when I was finally presentable to the public.

I grabbed my wallet and stuffed it, along with my truck keys, in my jeans pocket. My black jacket was cold from the draft that had been running through it, but I pulled it on anyways and yanked the hood up and over my brown hair. I nearly tripped on my way out the door, but regained my postured as I was locking it and walked away.

I smiled when I saw my '53 Chevy waiting for me in its parking space. It had been my homecoming present from Charlie, and I fell in love with it the moment he showed it to me. Sure, it was a little old and banged up, but it was a great truck. You couldn't go over fifty miles per hour and the engine was extremely loud, but everything was bound to have a flaw. Besides, these imperfections didn't bother me at all. It was my safe haven, protecting me from the constant rain. I bet that even a military tank couldn't take this baby out; it was just that sturdy. I climbed into it hastily, almost losing my footing on the step it took to get inside it, but I was able to cling to the handle and pull myself in. I shut the door quickly and let my hood fall to my shoulders, thankful that Charlie had gotten me something to keep me sane in Forks. Normally I wouldn't accept gifts like this, but it was crucial to keep me from going literally crazy in this hell hole. I gladly turned the key in the ignition and grinned when the engine gunned to life deafeningly. That's my truck.

The bookstore was only a couple of blocks away from Forks High—I averted my eyes carefully away from it as I drove by—so it wasn't difficult to find. However, locating a parking space was a different story. By the time I was finally parked and walking thought the doors of the building, it was ten-thirty.

The store's book selection was poor. I was disappointed when I couldn't find Wuthering Heights, which was the most dilapidated of my collection. I searched the section once, twice, ten times, walking up and down the same aisle, making sure I didn't over look it. I gave up after I spent thirty minutes looking for it. I would just have to by it next time I was in Port Angeles or something.

I went to the other side of those fruitless shelves and began searching for Romeo and Juliet. After about the third time through my exploration of the shelves, I saw one last copy wedge between two huge dictionaries. I reached my hand out to grab it and smiled to myself when I saw the cover. Perfect. It was the same edition as the one I had at home, only it was in spotless condition. I tucked it under my arm and began walking to the front counter, deciding that Wuthering Heights would have to wait for me.

I'd been stupid to be walking so fast under my circumstances especially. I was exceptionally clumsy, and to not be paying attention as to where I was going was a brainless thing to do, resulting in a humiliating collision.

"Uff!" I exclaimed as I made contact with something bony and hard. I fell backwards onto my butt and heard a similar reaction come from a few feet away. I opened my eyes and saw a tiny blonde girl—about my age, maybe—who was sitting on her bottom, looking at me curiously. She was about as tall as I was, maybe an inch or two taller, and her hair was wavy. Her baby blue eyes examined me and then she started giggling. I stared at her for a long time before she stood up and offered her hand down to me.

"I'm so sorry!" the girl exclaimed, still giggling.

"Er, that's okay," I mumbled, my cheeks fading into a red color. I took the girl's hand and stood up, bending down to pick up Romeo and Juliet. "It was my fault."

"I'm Melinda Laken, by the way, but you could call me Mel," she replied, shaking my hand since it was already in hers. This girl—Melinda—was very friendly. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to meet Charlie's wishes after all.

"Isabella Swan," I smiled at her. "But I prefer Bella."

"You're the new girl right? The one from Phoenix?" She looked excited as I began walking toward the front counter again. I was surprised when she followed me, but I didn't shake her off. I liked Mel.

"You know about me, huh?" I looked away from her, turning red again. So Charlie had been talking about me the entire time! When I'd asked if he had been, he'd said no. Couldn't believe I couldn't see right through his transparent lie!

"Oh yeah! All of Forks knows who you are silly! We've been so excited to see someone from the south!" She squealed in a dramatic way, and I wondered why. I was relieved, though, that this talkative, friendly girl did not find me repellent and continued talking to me.

"Why?" I asked, puzzled. As if I could ever be anything worthy of gossip. All I did were chores and homework—when school was on—how exciting can that get? And like the entire school was talking about me…..?

"Duh," she rolled her eyes and giggled some more. "Because you're the only person to ever move here from some big sunny state. Well, except Mike Newton, but he doesn't count because we don't remember him moving here. He just sort of popped up. But you! I can't wait to hear all about Phoenix! I love the sun—what's it like there?"

We finally reached the front desk so I set Romeo and Juliet on the counter in front of me and looked at her. Mel was gazing at me, obviously eager to hear the stories of the sun. I didn't blame her. All you ever saw in Forks were green living things and rain. Boring. I smiled as I began. "Well, it's really hot there this time of year. The temperature rarely goes below seventy five degrees, if that. It's really brown and dry and warm, not green and wet like it is here. I miss it so much."

"I bet. Must be hard to move to the rainiest place in America. Why did you move, Bella?" Mel pressed.

A bookkeeper—short and dressed in sweatpants and a too big sweatshirt—came up to the counter and I smiled at her as she ran my book through the scanner. A red light beamed out and a beeping noise was heard from the machine as she set my book in a bag. "10.97," she said in a bored voice, chewing a wad of gum. I pulled out my wallet and grabbed a twenty out from the folded area, handing it to her afterwards. She took the bill and handed back the change quickly. She'd seen too many years in a bookstore, that much was obvious. "Thank you for coming and have a nice day," she added.

"Thanks. You too," I replied, picking up my bag. I turned to Melinda to answer her question. "I moved because my mom got remarried and my father was lonely here. So, here I am."

"Wow. That's so nice of you, Bella! I don't think I could give that up! I've lived here my whole life and every time the sun starts to hide behind the clouds again, I feel trapped and like there's no escape. You know what I mean?"

You have no idea. "Not really."

"Oh." She looked away from me as if embarrassed she'd said anything. I regretted the snub instantly, feeling even more guilty because it was a lie that I told her. Before I could apologize, Mel turned her head back to look at me with a huge smile on her face. "I can't wait till Monday, Bella! Want my cell phone number? Oh, well, I'll give it to you on Monday….how about I meet you outside the office? Does that sound okay, or not? You can meet my brother and…."

Whoa. I liked Mel, I really did, but boy, did the girl have a mouth on her! I'd never seen one person talk so much in my entire life. Afraid that she wasn't getting enough air to her lungs, I interrupted her rudely. "Yeah, by the office. Sounds good to me." I smiled, glad I made a friend before the dreaded day that would surely be hell arrived. She was nice, and easy to talk to. We would get along really well.

"Great. I'll look your number up in the phone book and give you a call sometime, okay, Bella? Swan right?"

"Yep."

"Yay! Okay, I'll see you around!" She threw her thin, pale arms around me and unexpectedly gave me a quick hug. If the rest of the school had the same hospitality as Mel, I'd been in one big mess. I couldn't believe I'd have over two hundred people staring at me all day, and on top of that, being this friendly. If I could just be examined once by each student and that was all they needed to be sure I wasn't some freak with five arms and three eyes, that was fine by me.

"Okay," I mumbled. "Bye."

"Bye Bella!" she called after me as I walked back out into the drizzle that was steadily becoming a full-blown rain.

I got in my truck automatically and started the engine. It banged to life loudly, but I barely heard it over my silent screaming thoughts, two separate parts of me battling it out. You've made a mistake by moving, Bella! one yelled at me. Your gonna be the laughing stock of the school because they'll all see you fall on your face when you arrive. It's gonna be the worst day of your life and it's all because you just can't stand your mother's new husband. Why are you running away from your problems? Calm down, silly, the other one scolded. It's no big deal. Melinda was just being nice to you because you look like a scared jumpy rabbit, that's all. Monday's gonna be fine, you'll see. I nearly laughed—I was starting to argue with myself. Forks was driving me to insanity.

It was hard to concentrate on driving with the two very loud competing thoughts in my head. I gritted my teeth together to maintain focus and eventually, the thoughts were drowned out by my attention to the road. I kept my attentiveness directed toward my goal as I parked in the grocery store parking lot. I had a long day to go, with too much time to think about what I knew was coming….the inevitable first day of school…Stop it, right there, Bella. You've got some shopping to do. I took a deep breath and walked through the doors of the grocery store.

I made chili for dinner that night because for one thing I was freezing by the time the hidden sun sunk below the horizon and for another thing because Charlie had requested it about a week ago. He liked that I could cook and I did too. If he couldn't…..and I couldn't…..we'd be eating at the diner every night. Charlie made it home around six-ish as I was warming my hands over the big pot of chili. It smelled delicious, and I'd been too busy busying my mind that day to keep my mind off of Monday to realize I hadn't eaten all day. I was starving.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie called, slipping his boots off as he walked in the door. "Smells good in here." He ambled into the kitchen and sat down as I opened the cupboard above the sink to grab two glass bowls. They clanged together as I pulled them down, but I managed to keep a firm grip. I opened the utensil drawer and pulled out two spoons, then shut the drawer with my hip.

"Hi, Dad, and thanks. I know you wanted chili so…." I scooped some chili out of the pot with a ladle and poured it into one of the glass bowls. "I decided to make it today." I slid the bowl across the table towards him and handed him one of the spoons. Next, I took two cups out of the cupboard and poured each one about three fourths full of milk. After serving Charlie, I took my own milk and chili and sat across from him on the kitchen table. We ate in silence. I smiled to myself when Charlie helped himself to seconds. When he finished his last spoonful, he shoved the bowl away from him and cleared his throat. I braced myself for the interrogation.

"So, Bella," he began. "What did you do today?"

"Uh," I stuttered in reply, also pushing my empty bowl away from me. "I went to the bookstore this morning to buy a new book, and I met a girl there. Her name's Melinda Laken, and she, um, is gonna show me around the campus on Monday."

Charlie cracked a smile. "That's great, Bells. See? I knew you'd be fine. Laken, huh? Nice family. She's got one older brother who's a senior this year. Besides two of the Cullen boys, he's the best on the school football team. Great kids. She'll be a good friend for you, Bella." Only in a town as small as Forks, would a father know absolutely everybody in the phone book. It was starting to get ridiculous.

"Yeah," I smiled back. I was suddenly more worried and anxious about Monday than I'd been since I learned of the small student body or the fact every single student knew I was going to be there. My own father knew more of the kids than I did! What was I doing here, trying to tread water, when I so obviously was going to drown in it? No one was going to take such an immediate interest in me. Melinda was a special case. She was probably just taking pity on me because she saw how plain I was and that I was never going to fit in anywhere at school, just like in Phoenix. I abruptly felt like crying. "Dad?" my voice was starting to shake.

Charlie became instantly wary, and he studied my face closely. Finally, after what seemed like forever—but what couldn't have been more than a few seconds—he saw some sort of emotion leaking through and his eyes grew wide. "Oh, Bells," he said nervously. "Why don't you head on upstairs for a while? I'll get everything cleaned up here."

I nodded, thankful for such an understanding father, and left quickly. As soon as I was in my room, I shut the door and ran to my bed, leaping on it. The sobs came effortlessly once my face was stuffed into a pillow. I could feel my tears staining them as I tilted my head to the side to drag in a ragged breath. I cried for about an hour, hoping that I wouldn't have another real crying jag for another couple months. After the sobbing and tears subsided, I lay in my bed quietly, thinking of nothing but the dreaded Monday. All I could think about was how much over my head this all was, and wishing I had the ability to change that.


End file.
